i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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