Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
