Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
