If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
