i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
