Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
