I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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