How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
