I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize