You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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