Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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