addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
