that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
