I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
