never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
