i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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