i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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