bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
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