go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My feet surprised me
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
