Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
