Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
