He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
