so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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