I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize