Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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