awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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