I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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