Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Randomize
