Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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