I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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