Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
