mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
