So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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