The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
