Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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