Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
