Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
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