Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Holy shit dude........stairs
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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