my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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