well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize