dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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