Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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