new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
