Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
