Im at strip club and am horny
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
no you cant smoke seaweed
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
