so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
