McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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