Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
