these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
