I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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