The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize