i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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