Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
