kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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