i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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