at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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