Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
