On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Randomize
