im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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