Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
