the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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